he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
