he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize