I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
