Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
