I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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