I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
