i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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