it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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