Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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