The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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