If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
