meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
