just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
