theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
