PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize