Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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