so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
