he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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