I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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