they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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