We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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