Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
