remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I look better un-naked...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
