Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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