he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize