Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
