Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
