I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
