Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
