so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
