I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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