My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
