I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
