I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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