i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
