you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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