I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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