Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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