I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
