Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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