I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
