are you so shy because you have an std?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
