just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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