Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
