Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I enjoy the company of your penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
