called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
