He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Your penis caused this!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
