Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
