Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
