Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
