Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you had me at cake vodka
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
