spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
