I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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