And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
