i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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