I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
