so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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