So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
