We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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