batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
