found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
