Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
