I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
