we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
